


The Love We've Made

by SnailFriend



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, Horror, M/M, Necrophilia?, chad alfred, england is gross, some cute ameripan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 06:57:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19145860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailFriend/pseuds/SnailFriend
Summary: Alfred makes a great life for himself. Arthur does, too... sort of.





	The Love We've Made

Over the course of his childhood, Alfred had seen his father’s countless attempts to find a partner. All of them ended in failure. Around the time Alfred went to high school, Arthur seemed to stop trying. He lectured his son about the dangers of dating and how marriage was a scam. Alfred almost fell victim to his brainwashing, but a cute little twink in Sex Ed flushed all those rants down the drain.  
Much to Arthur’s dismay, Alfred was a total chad. He was the captain of the football team, ridiculously handsome, and smart where it counted. He went to parties every weekend and got a booty call every other night. Arthur was completely crushed. How could his son be so much better than him in every way? Once Alfred left for college, Arthur became a total shut-in. He worked from home, got all his groceries via uber eats, and didn’t talk to anyone.

He was completely isolated.

Alfred had always assumed that his father would be alone forever. Any normal person would feel bad for their lonely parent, but Alfred felt nothing. He went on with his life as if Arthur never existed. He got his degree, found the job of his dreams and fell head-over-heels for Kiku Honda, his coworker. Life without his father was perfect.

But it couldn’t last.

-

To celebrate their engagement, Alfred took Kiku out to a five star restaurant. They ate on a private balcony overlooking the city. Candlelight bathed their faces as they looked into each other’s eyes. After a few glasses of wine and a lot of chatting, Kiku sighed and looked looked to the skyline. “I’m so glad I met you,” he said.   
“Hi so glad I met you, I’m Dad,” Alfred replied. Kiku rolled his eyes.  
“You always know how to spoil a moment.”  
“Hey, there’s never a bad time for dad jokes.”  
“Speaking of dads,” Kiku said as he faced his partner again. “Why haven’t I met your parents yet?” There was a moment of silence. Alfred looked down at his lap. “Is that a touchy subject?” Kiku asked.  
“No, I just- I don’t know. I haven’t talked to my dad in a while. He just kinda stopped calling, and I never made an effort to reach out. He’s just such a weirdo that I didn’t really miss him, you know?” He sighed. “You really should meet him, though. It’d be kinda weird if I kept him in the dark any longer. Well, it’s already weird, but… yeah.”  
“I’ll look forward to it.”

-

Two weeks and one phone call later, Alfred stood outside his childhood home for the first time in years. It was more run-down than he remembered. All the windows were dark, and everything smelled faintly of rot. Kiku seemed unphased. “Well, this is it,” Alfred said as he approached the door. It swung open before he could knock.  
“Welcome home,” Arthur said. He wrapped his twiggy, pale arms around his son. He was dressed in clothes more fit for church than a casual day with family, and he had that same rotten smell.   
“Thanks, Dad,” Alfred said as he pushed him away. He brushed off his shirt.  
“It’s an honor to finally meet you, Mr. Kirkland,” Kiku said with a bow. Arthur turned to him and narrowed his eyes.  
“Who is this?” he asked.  
“This is my fiancé, Kiku. I mentioned him in the phone call, remember?” Alfred said.  
“I thought you were joking. I never thought a little whoremonger like you would settle down.” Arthur chuckled. Kiku and Alfred did not.   
“Well, I did,” Alfred said.  
“Sure. Now, why don’t you two come inside? Tabitha just made scones,” Arthur said as he walked inside. Alfred and Kiku hesitantly followed suit. That rotten smell grew stronger as they made their way through the candlelite house and into the dining room. A plate of scones sat in the middle of the table. A spider scurried across the scones. Kiku flinched, but Arthur didn’t say anything about it.  
“So, uh, who’s Tabitha?” Alfred asked.   
“Oh, that’s my girlfriend. I’ll go bring her in,” Arthur replied. He rushed out of sight.  
Kiku grabbed his fiancé’s arm and leaned against him for comfort. His eyes darted around the room as he prepared to run from any oncoming insects.   
Alfred opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it as the smell of decay grew unbearable. His eyes watered. He pinched his nose, but the smell still came through.  
“Here’s Tabitha,” Arthur said as he walked into view. He held up a- god, what was he holding? It was humanoid, yes, but it barely resembled a living being. It wore a matted wig and an ill-fitting set of lingerie that hung loosely on its frail figure. The panties drooped down to reveal a crusty fleshlight. Wads of duct tape were wrapped haphazardly around what looked like human bones, and its chest had clumps of decaying skin and fat. Kiku shut his eyes. Alfred couldn’t look away. “Didn’t I teach you not to stare? I know Tabitha is a looker, but you really must have some self-control,” Arthur said.   
Alfred pictured himself having sex with that abomination and promptly threw up. “We’re leaving,” he blurted. He tightened his grip on Kiku and bolted for the car. Arthur shouted something at them, but they were too terrified to hear. They scrambled into their car. Alfred slammed on the gas and tore out of the driveway without stopping to put his seatbelt on. Kiku threw up twice on the way home.  
That was the last time Alfred spoke to his father.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a series of homemade sex dolls I saw. Nasty.


End file.
